Like their CD player, it took a while to get the hang of all the gadgets that came along with it, but after a few months he was as much the king of the computer as he was the king of the
remote control.

The following afternoon, he pulled into a parking spot outside CompUSA.  After he got out he checked his hair in the shining window of his gold '98 Toyota Camry Solara.  He looked back at his vehicle in admiration as he set the alarm. Once inside, he walked over to the hardware section, and picked up a box hoping it would have easy-to-install instructions on the back.  Just as he pulled the box down a salesman came up behind him.

"Sir, I'm glad you picked up that box, over here we have a western digital 6.1 gigabyte.  That's 6,000 megabytes of hard drive space, this hard drive is an ultra DMA hard drive so it will run super-fast, comes with a full warranty and it's very easy to install."

Although the salesman sped through a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo the man couldn't understand, as soon as he heard "easy to install" he was certain that this super-fast 6.1 giga-whatever was just what he was looking for.  Ten minutes and $200 later he slid back into the leather seat of his coupe and headed back home singing along with the Moody Blues' "Don't You Feel Small".

When he returned home he found his wife asleep in her Lazy Boy as "Days of Our Lives" flickered on the big screen TV.  He quietly made his way up the stairs to the office, set his bag on top of the fax machine, took off his coat and got out his toolbox.

He opened the box containing his new hard drive, and unfolded the installation instruction sheet.  Following the directions, he unscrewed the screws that held the old hard drive in its case then unplugged the cables attached to it.  As he placed the new hard drive in the place of the old one
he smiled at his dexterity.  His smile began to wane as he repeatedly dropped the teeny screws while trying to keep the new hard drive in straight.  The few times he didn't drop one he managed to screw it in lop sided.  When he finally finished plugging the cables back in, he stood up
and brushed himself off.

"Easy to install my ass," he mumbled as he turned the computer on.

He leaned back in his chair and watched the monitor, waiting for the usual Windows screen to tell him if there was anything else he had to do.  Instead of his familiar light-blue background with white puffy clouds, an error message appeared in white letters on a bright blue background.  The message
read, "Error reading drive C. Insert bootable media."  He stared at the screen in confusion and decided he should just restart and the error would go away.

Again he waited to recognize the user-friendly desktop he was used to, and again he was greeted with the error message.  He stood up quickly, the force from his legs knocked over the chair.  As it toppled onto its side he spun around and kicked it across the room.  Glaring at the monitor, he scowled and pulled at the hair on his head.

"ERRGHH!  You useless piece of shit!" he screamed at the technological nemesis before him.  He closed his eyes; his brows still furrowed in frustration, and breathed deeply.  Slowly his hands came down from his head in a calming gesture.  When his eyes opened there was still hatred behind
his stare, but the anger was gone.  He read the words on the screen again, carefully so that he could attempt to understand them, "Error reading drive C.  Insert bootable media."  His face went blank and he pursed his lips. His hands clenched as his anger elevated once more.

"What?"  He shoved his face in front of the monitor and exclaimed, "What kind of language are you speaking?  You are supposed to solve my problems, not create more!"

As he walked over to the other side of the room to retrieve his chair his arms swung at the air as if it were his worst enemy.  When he reached the far end of the room he put his hand on his hips and stared out the window.  Instead of picking up the chair, he grabbed the hammer that sat on the
windowsill.  He gripped it hard, making his hand turn white from the pressure.  With a loud, "Arghhh!" he spun around and threw the hammer directly at the monitor.

The glass shattered and sparks flew as he ran back towards the computer.  He reached through the shocking electronic device and grabbed the rubber handle of the hammer.  Swinging it with all of his might he beat the hammer into the face of the monitor over and over.  He then picked up the CPU and threw it across the room towards the chair.  He ran over, picked up the chair and used it in place of the hammer, crashing the motherboard and CD Rom cup-holder into pieces.

As he jumped up and down on top of the box he shouted, "Die, you worthless piece of shit! Die! Die! Die!"

When the last of his energy was spent and the computer lay in teeny microprocessor pieces he set the broken chair on the floor and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind him.  He calmly walked down the stairs into the kitchen and fixed himself a stiff drink.  As he made his way into
the living room to relax in his cozy Lazy Boy his wife came in with a confused look on her face.

"Honey," she said, "I have to pick the kids up from soccer practice and the
car won't start."